I'M ENGAGED!

….okay, okay. I’m not engaged. Put the phone down, oh, and put a “stop payment” on that check to the catering company. Good. Crisis averted.

As a single woman, aged 24 years, living in Guatemala, I have to field questions about my love life (or lack thereof) all the time, usually from men. This is difficult. At first I was honest with people about my single status but, I quickly learned that honesty is overrated. If you let someone know that you’re single- even if they’re married, in more cases than not, they’re going to ask you for your number or think they have a fighting chance at taking you out on a date.

As I’ve written before, this can cause some really awkward times for me. Usually saying something about “not talking to strangers” or that “I don’t speak Spanish on the weekends…because the weekends are for resting?” (yeah, I said that), or another lame combination of excuses and uncomfortable mumbling.

Alas, I have turned to lying:

e.g. the formulation of my fake fiancé. Mi prometido/novio.

Now, had I made up a boyfriend in the US when I was living in the US I feel like my friends would’ve been…well… concerned. But here? I shared my shameful lie with another volunteer and was met with nothing but support and reinforcing examples of why it’s a good idea to lie to people about having a significant other sometimes.

Now I am faced with the task of spreading this information to the guys who hit on me in my town…

End goal? To stop being harassed every time I leave the house.

It’s probably because I’m really, really pretty and I’ve got a great personality… or, more likely, it’s because I’m white and American…and female.

Sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house because I don’t want to have to deal with the constant CH CH (that’s how they get your attention) and poorly strung together sentences in English. I think my favorite one so far is, “wow, baby, I love you.”

I like hearing that just about as much as I like seeing my own blood on my hands when I kill a mosquito. GREAT! VERY NICE! Not.

Meh. Cleansing breath…..

Changing music now…. HEY SOULD SISTER (Train)

Mood has improved.

I’m back.

So other than my little silly feminine struggles…

I’ve been:

battling the bugs.

- They’re EVERYWHERE.

I have noticed that the worse the weather gets outside the more bugs I find inside. This is nothing new, it’s how it works everywhere as far as I know but, the bugs that I’ve been finding in my room are…well, not what I was expecting. The spider population had a little spike as soon as the rain hit but I’ve maintained a relatively low amount of them with careful vigilance. The bug that is giving me the most trouble is the damn rollie pollies. I don’t know what they’re doing here-and they’re everywhere. They’re in my clothes, they’re on my towel when I get out of the shower, crawling in my bowls of freshly disinfected fruits and veggies, and landing in mummified little crusty balls on my pillow! I’m not afraid to touch them, that they’ll bite me or crawl on me in my sleep or anything like that after having spent a good portion of my childhood playing with the stupid things, I’m just… not sure what to do. I’m not really keen on playing with them now, though believe me, the opportunity is right here; it’s just so…curious and annoying. I guess though, I’ve really got to count my blessings on this one; it could definitely be worse.

Cooking.

-Culinary TRIUMPHS.

I made a particularly delicious batch of my mom’s pie-crust cinnamon rolls and Broccoli Soup this week.

Naturally, I devoured the cinnamon rolls in about a day…and continue to downsize the rest of the soup into smaller and smaller Tupperware containers.

Fending off thieves.

- LADRONA!

A woman tried to rob me in the market in Xela. She circled around me a couple of times and then bumped into me and as I tried to keep moving I grabbed for my purse only to find her hand in it! I felt so violated! So I got her hand out of there and called her a “Ladrona!” (thief). Boy, really got her there...

Oh well, I guess I learned an important lesson; A) That I don’t like thieves, B) even when I think I’m being vigilant I am still a target for crime and C) That I need to learn some meaner words to call people who try and rob me. Luckily she didn’t get any of my stuff, but man oh man, did she succeed in making me mad!

Jamming out

- Practice, Practice, Practice!

I’ve been pretending to be able to play along to Jack Johnson and John Mayer songs on my guitar…I can’t wait till I can actually play…that’ll be even better.

Stalking people (?)

- Hellboy?

So I went to the DVD guy who told me he’d get me Hellboy in English but, well, it looks like I’m not the only liar around here…

I’ve got a line on another copy from a competing DVD salesman….we’ll see how this pans out, I know how supply and demand works…

What am I talking about?

Okay. Well girlfriend’s gotta go now, I’m tired…and I think I’ve got a skype date with Dad soon. I hope everyone is doing well! I’m so proud of all of my newly graduated friends and family! Woop woop!

Peace & Love!

p.s. sorry there's no photos...the internet won't load them...also...i didnt take any. AH. sorry. haha. next time. I'll do work on taking my camera around. XOXO!